April 11, 2009

The Rules of Chocolate

This has been floating around for quite a while, but since it is Easter Weekend, I figured a nice little reminder of the benefits of chocolate would be in order. Enjoy!

If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.


Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal.
It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A: Because no one wants to quit.

Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.


36 Random Sassy Comments:

Hit 40 said...

Classic!! Very well thought out. And so true!!!

Betty said...

I love this article. I am a big chocolate fan. I'm going to follow your suggestions especially the one about eating it in the parking lot so it won't melt on the way home lol

~~tonya~~ said...

MMMM chocolate. Lots of great info!

Yaya said...

I am a complete chocolate junkie! I love the diet tip!

Anissa said...

I love me some chocolat! I will never quit! Thanks for sharing!

I am Harriet said...

You go girl!

Casey said...

My god woman, I'm going to have to stop reading your food posts. I feel fatter now.

Kristin at My Art and the Mom in Me said...

This is very funny!! Thanks for the laughs!

Jenn@mylifewiththecrazies said...

Thanks for the great tips.. now I must go break into the kids hidden easter candy and have some chocolate

Tony@ That One Paticular Harbor said...

You and my wife and daughter would get along just fine with your chocolate love. Ok I like it as well. Cool post. Thanks for stopping by my harbor.

carma said...

I have been loading up on the chocolate today as my husband makes his special Easter cake. Now I know I am doing the right thing ;-)
Have a Happy Easter.
carma

Manic Mother said...

Good thing I was eating chocolate while reading that, or I would have had to find some quickly. Chocolate makes me weak in the knees!

Cara said...

Ah, Stacy-the only thing missing is a "how-to convince your child choclate is NOT tasty & BAD for you so they'll never try to finish your last piece..."

Although I had a *teensy* moment of pride this morning. Bear's Easter eggs from the hunt @ the park were all filled w/ mini-snickers. Every time we'd open one & I'd ask her what it was, she'd grin real big, shout "CHAAACLAT!" then throw the candy back in her bucket.

Happy Easter to you & Princess Nagger!

Jaime said...

mmm...chocolate! hope you have a great weekend and a happy easter

Mrs Cooper said...

I agree 100% with all of the above. Happy Easter.

Sherrie said...

LOL! I LOVE it, and I love me some chocolate, too. If only it loved my hips and mid-section as much as I loved it...it'd stay away from them. :)

blueviolet@A Nut in a Nutshell said...

I do so love me some chocolate and since I posted that blasted picture of a Symphony bar last night, I went out and bought me one. But I'm sharing it, I promise!

Opus #6 said...

Oooo, YUMMMM! I love CHOCOLATE!

kel said...

Love this!!!

pehpot said...

This is hilarious! and I like this best:

If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?

LMAO

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Vickie said...

This was just a fantastic post! It gave me so many reasons to eat a few pieces tomorrow. I love it when my love of chocolate is justified! The diet one is my favorite.

Vickie said...

ps.s I am trying to grab your button, but my darn computer won't let me! Try again another day.

Lizzie said...

these are great! thanks for sharing :)

Veronica Lee said...

Happy Easter, Stacy!

AudreyO said...

I got very worried when I read the topic of "chocolate rules" Now that I've read them, I'm very willing to eat a bit more, cover some fruit and eat quickly so it shouldn't melt :)

Becca said...

I'm a huge lover of chocolate. I agree with all of the above!

Mrs Zeee said...

I too worship at the chocolate altar. A VERY worthy blog post. Thanks!

On The Verge said...

I love the way you think! Chocolate is my sanity!
Happy Easter!

Lydia

MoodyMommy said...

YUMMY!!! I Love a chocolate bar before each meal!!

Stopping by from SITS..

Bobbi Jo said...

That is so wonderful now I have an excuse for the stashes all over my house. he he
Happy Easter! Hugs, Bobbi Jo

Megan said...

A-MEN! Good thing I've been eating lots of chocolate...it's good for my health. And I definitely want to be healthy. ;0)

Steph at Problem Solvin' Mom said...

LOL! And the best thing about the day after Easter? All that leftover chocolate at the store is on SALE! ;)

Sprite's Keeper said...

Luckily we gave away Sprite's stash of Easter chocolate or I'd be breaking into it right now.

kyooty said...

oh yummy!!!!! we had a chocolate fountain this weekend at my dad's surprise party... there aremore rules to come :)

Brittany said...

Holy moly that makes me want chocolate soooo badly!

Alicia said...

Your blog is fantastic!