May 1, 2009

Spin Cycle of Mistakes - Learn from Them

Jen over at Sprite's Keeper promotes weekly fun with the Spin Cycle. This week's topic is Mistakes. We all make them (some more than others), but if you learn from them mistakes can be a learning experience.

I'm human, so I've made plenty of mistakes for sure! Everything from a simple miscalculation in measurements when making a pumpkin pie one year (using Tablespoons instead of teaspoons to measure the spices - the worst pie I ever made) to silly mistakes like putting the Christmas tree together in the wrong order and having what looked like a pregnant tree... I think the most significant mistake I ever made was getting into a relationship while on the rebound from my first husband leaving me for another woman.

It was at a time in my life when I was the most vulnerable, the feeling of being rejected by the person you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with. Along came what appeared to be a knight in shining armor - he knew all the right things to say, did all the right things that convinced me that he truly cared about me. I ignored the signs of his controlling ways - from his insistence that I move from Seattle to Michigan where he lived, to his demands that I sell all of my personal belongings that might have any connection to my ex. When I did sell those things, I thought nothing of his insistence that I put that money into his bank account.

He put on a good act, showing his charming side to all my friends and family, and won almost all of them over. He had me won over, though there were small signs that I either overlooked or outright ignored. After I moved to Michigan and right before we got married, his true side came out. You can read all about it here if you haven't already. I made the mistake of not trusting my gut, for not seeing the signs, because I didn't let enough time pass after my first husband left to be steady on my feet before diving into another 'serious' relationship, let alone another marriage.

The important thing is that in the end I stayed true to myself, I made sure I got myself out of that abusive situation - if I had stayed, I would not be alive today...of that I am absolutely certain. Luckily I do learn from my mistakes, and that mistake was never repeated. I believe I am the person I am today because of the things I've been through in my short lifetime, mistakes and all.

Want to read some excellent spins? Then click here. :)

19 Random Sassy Comments:

Anissa said...

Sorry to hear all that Stacy! TFS

Stesha said...

I know this is a cliche, but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

I read your story the first time and it is no less poignant that time. Congratulations for making the strong, difficult choice.

Banteringblonde said...

I'm not sure what to say except that I admire your strength and good for you!

Casey said...

Yuck, I remember the story of that jerkety-jerk jerk. I'm glad things turned out in the end. Also, I think it was a HUGE mistake not posting a picture of something yummy that I can't eat. ;)

Casey said...

Yuck, I remember the story of that jerkety-jerk jerk. I'm glad things turned out in the end. Also, I think it was a HUGE mistake not posting a picture of something yummy that I can't eat. ;)

Hit 40 said...

I wish I would have been there for you when you were married to that jerk!

We all make mistakes. I have not really had good experiences with people changing even when you call them out on your concerns. I have learned that they will not change. I need to work around their personality or just stay away from them.

Justine/Justiney/Tiney said...

Wow, you sure have been through the wringer! I had no clue you were on marriage #3! I'm so glad you finally found a good guy!

Justine :o )

annie kelleher said...

i can so relate to that mistake because i made one very similar. but we live and learn, right? so glad you made it through :) happy friday and i hope you have a great weekend!

I am Harriet said...

You're so awesome!

Glad you've learned how to smile pretty:)

kyooty said...

Since I'm a relatively new commenter or and reading I'm really enjoying getting to know you through your previous post. Mistakes truly do make us smarter and stronger.

Sprite's Keeper said...

I've got chills. How you survived it with "the rebound" is beyond me. I am so glad you are where you are now. You're a true survivor story. And you're linked!

Debbie said...

Wow. What a moving story.

Vickie said...

I am sorry you had to go through it.

You got out! Good for you!

ModernMom said...

Just read through some of your previous posts to try and get caught up. You are one strong mama! Yeah You!

carma said...

Some serious stuff here. I am relieved that you got out of that relationship before it turned tragic...
I am beginning to realize we need to give ourselves permission to make mistakes. I am tired of beating myself up for achieving less than perfection! This week's little mistake provided ample opportunity for me to put this into practice!
Of course, I'm not quite there yet ;-)
carma

Frogs in my formula said...

You did the right thing, and it's wonderful you trusted your gut and feelings of self worth to leave a situation that wasn't working for you. Sadly, too many people stay. I love the expression "it's hard to see the forest through the trees." Sometimes even though we have the best intentions we can't grasp the situation until we've moved away from it a bit--but you figured that out. Just in time it sounds like.

Mrsbear said...

I missed that story the first time and just went back for the gory details. You were wise to leave when you did, even though it sounds like a harrowing experience, it must have done a lot to your perspective. You're a tough cookie. ;)

Megan said...

You are such a strong woman!

I agree, as long as we learn from our mistakes, things can turn out better than we could imagine.